Costa Rica On Five Diapers A Day

Q: How was my vacation?

A: Hah! That's a trick question! Heck, my whole life is a vacation! I don't work. I don't cook. I don't clean. I've got people to wipe my butt.

Nonetheless, if you're asking me how I enjoyed our family trip to Costa Rica in January, well, the answer is: Monkeys... everywhere. Enough said. As my Uncle Joe says, there is no situation that can not be improved by the presence of some monkeys. The whole trip was fabulous. We saw an active volcano, hiked through rain forests (well, technically speaking, Mommy and Daddy hiked while I just rode along), lounged on the beach and at the pool, ate some killer food (I actually swore off mac and cheese for more than a week). And Daddy managed to not get us killed on the crazy, winding, two-lane, pothole-marked, no-guard-rail roads, all the while avoiding the random ox-driven carts, tour buses, tractors, herds of cows and families of six that could be hogging the road around any given bend. (At the beginning, from my car seat, I could see him up there white-knuckling the steering wheel, but by the end he was doing 100 [EDITOR'S NOTE: THAT'S KILOMETERS PER HOUR, NOT MILES], passing everything in sight and shouting Spanish curse words out the window.)

But above all else... well, let me just repeat: Monkeys.

Now, let's get to the pictures...

Listening to In-Flight Entertainment during the flight to Costa Rica, one of the few moments during any of our four flight segments in which I was not focused on my life's mission of "Absolute Destruction of All I Encounter."

Mommy and I at the crater of the Poas Volcano. Do you dig my lime green Crocs?

Another shot of the volcano -- and, if I'm not mistaken, the first photo in the history of this blog that does not have me in it!

Me and Mommy and some kind of crazy bird.

Butterflies, schmutterflies... Bring on the monkeys!

Here's one! Hi, monkey! Or should I say... "Hola!"

Here we are at a waterfall in the rainforest. Cool, now where are the rest of the monkeys?

Enjoying a refreshing, post-hike sip of mango juice. All that riding around on Mommy's back can make a girl thirsty.

Me, Mommy, chillin'.

Here we are a lovely spot between San Jose and the Pacific coast. Gorgeous, no? And the scenery too!

Ah, this is the life.

Daddy said this is what I'll look like if I don't wear sunscreen at the pool.

Quesadillas: one of the few things that can get me out of the pool willingly.

OK, I'm going to finish up this quesadilla, then get back in the pool. You feel me?

For whatever reason, the housekeepers put the trash cans in the wrong place, so I took it upon myself to rearrange them... Naked. While wearing sunglasses.

This Italian restaurant was too stuffy, so somebody needed to put their napkin on their head and call it "hat!" That person, as you probably guessed, was me.

An early-morning walk on the beach is a great way to get the juices flowing -- as evidenced by the contents of my diaper after we got back to the hotel!

A couple of cool cats enjoying lunch at a beachside restaurant in the town of Jaco.

Heading out to dinner at the marina next to the resort. You can work up a pretty good appetite lounging around the pool all day.

Ah, sunset on the veranda. Uh, waiter? Fruity cocktail with a pink umbrella for my Mommy, and a mango juice with a straw for me.

Um, I think it's best that we let this one pass without comment

So, check this out, y'all... We were at this beach in the Manuel Antonio national park, and this troop of monkeys descended out of the trees and started stealing people's food. It was just about the coolest dadgummed thing I've ever seen.

And here, we were just minding our own business, eating lunch near the beach, when another troop of monkeys passed by the restaurant. It was almost enough to get me to put down my sippee cup.

Back at the pool... demonstrating my surfing skills.

Showing off my killer tan towards the end of our vacation in the town of Playa Herradura. Hey, waiter! Mind bringing me a shovel to help me get all these noodles in my mouth?

A little stopover on the drive back to the airport. Yes, those are crocodiles down there, and no, I wasn't scared.

Well, that's all I've got. We'll be back again soon with another update and perhaps a new Top 10 list. But look, don't get all indigant with me if I don't get it done soon. My life is a vacation, remember? I'll get to it when I can. Love to all...

Lucinda