On Mullets, Eating Sand and the General Indignities of Life As a 9 1/2-month-old

Hi folks,

Those of you who have dealt with me know I'm fairly easy-going. I don't rage against authority just for the sake of raging. I don't scream nonsensically just for the sake of being heard, like certain other babies I have known whose names shall remain nameless. Sure, I've been known to voice my displeasure at the occasional personal affront, such as a wet diaper left on too long or a bra-covered boobie that I'm having trouble getting at. Still, all in all, I'd say I have a pretty good disposition for someone still trying to figure out all you so-called "adults."

(See what I mean?)

But I have to say this: I'm a little ticked off right now about some of the stuff I've noticed going on around me. First of all, let's talk about this hair-do shown below, which is more accurately described as a "hair-don't." (Hah! You didn't think I was capable of such cynical humor, did you?)

Look, I may not know much (I'm not even 10 months old!), but I know what this is: IT'S A MULLET! And it's an outrage that my Mommy and Daddy let me walk around with this thing. (I'll resist the temptation here to further question the hygenic propriety of sharing an ear of corn in such a way, even to jack up the "cuteness" quotient of a photograph.) Daddy tries to convince me that "the mullet is going to come back in style," and regales me with silly mullet slogans like "Business in the front, party in the back!" But believe you me -- I know what's going on here. And I don't like it one bit. Seriously, do they want me to wind up looking like this or this?

I'd go around my entire life with a hat on my head, like this...

... or cover up with a hooded towel, like this...

.... except, for obvious reasons (see: my mullet), I can't trust my Mommy and Daddy to display such fashion sense at all times.

And then there's this: The more I learn about this wacky world I've been born into -- well, the more I like it, of course. But I also begin to realize how much I've been unfairly prevented from experiencing it to the fullest. Hey, Mommy and Daddy -- you've been holding out on me! Like the aforementioned corn-on-the-cob. I mean, hello? You wait until I'm nine months old to share some of that sweet goodness with me? Makes me wonder -- what else have you been holding out on me?

And how about this thing I just found out about.... ?

What, they don't think I might've enjoyed a little dip in my own swimming pool about, oh, two months ago?

And this fun, crazy stuff -- sand? Who knew it could be so much fun -- or tasty?

Just the other day, Mommy and Daddy got me this new backpack contraption to carry me around in....

Sheesh, it's about time. I thought they were going to try to push me around in that silly, expensive stroller until I was teenager, or tuck me under their arm like I'm some kind of stinkin' football. But I let them know I wasn't going to take it anymore!

And then there's the swing...

I really dig it, but seriously -- why wait so long to introduce me to this thing?

But anyway, I guess I don't really have it so rough. I don't want to sound like an ingrate. People have been very good to me so far.

Thanks for checking out my blog, and for leaving all those nice comments. Make sure you keep checking back.... I know I never miss a day!


Check back next month for my newest monthly Top 10 list. Daddy really thinks he's going to move up a spot or two this time, but I have to say -- "Tearing sh*t up" is No. 8 with a bullet!

Love to all,

Lucinda